Triangle of Sadness is dramatic satire, satire in the way a clown does comedy, big, wet slap of a fish if the fish, hand gesture and a lit up sign saying “Satire”. We’re dunked into the world of this movie with multiple shirtless men gathered outside a casting room for a modelling shoot. They’re all being interviewed by an eccentric man who is too interested in them all. Carl goes in, walks around and is asked to leave. We’re led to believe he’s at least slightly successful in his venture as he is then seen at a dinner date with a beautiful texting lady who is ignoring the bill on the table. Carl picks up the bill which leads to a fight about paying. It’s not about paying, it’s about Carl not wanting to be the couple that relies on the gender roles we’ve established. He doesn’t want to be the man all the time in every situation, having to hold the door for Yaya and pay for everything. He doesn’t feel it’s equal. This fight spans the restaurant, taxi ride and a lift that really really wants to close. Carl then goes to the room to take his shirt off and struggles turning off a lamp. Yaya comes in and they talk a bit more about the issue.
Jumping to part two of three, we move to the Yacht. A big, beautiful boat for big and/or beautiful people. We’re introduced to the crew (the guest facing crew) get a pep talk about how this has to be perfect and that they can only say yes to the guests. They chant money, an activity that I am firmly behind and participate in almost daily if I have the time. They chant and stamp, causing the below deck employees to notice, there is a clear divide between the English speaking, white employees of this ship and everyone else, who are working away, without this level of “togetherness”.
Guests are slowly introduced to us on the ship, Yaya and Carl are both there, looking excellent and taking pictures. Carl is taking these photos of Yaya to post as we learn she got this cruise trip free, assuming she is posting and endorsing the company. We learn this info in an incredible introduction to Dimitry, a rich Russian businessman who sells shit. During this conversation, we’re then introduced to a lovely Great British couple who are talking to Therese who has suffered a stroke in the past and now only says In Den Wolken, a phrase which translates to In the Clouds. The old Great British woman thinks that’s beautiful.
His wife is a lonely French woman, who sits in the hottub and makes a crew member get in while she serves her champagne because she “needs a break”. In reality, this crew member, Alicia, needed to be getting ready for the captains dinner which was happening soon. I think the French, curly haired woman is the first introduction to the vapid levels of richness we see from then on.
Story break, thought time. At this point I have no idea what is going on, where this story is going but I am on the ride. Everyone we meet is not great in at least one way which makes it tough to grip onto anything. Not many thoughts, I’ll keep going with the story now.
The whole crew now has to go swimming which delays the dinner. This isn’t the worst news for the Marxisist, drunk captain. They all get dry and clothed for the food. We’re introduced to the concept that the sea moves at this point and everyone is standing at a slant. I am amazed and perplexed that glasses stay on the table, they truly are an engineering marvel. The guests pile in and introduce themselves to Woody Captainson, with one complaining about the imaginary dirty, grey sails. She insists there are sails, on this motorised boat and all the crew, much like all customer service, smile, nod and say they’ll fix the issue. Not sure if I’m right but this feels like the satire bit. I’m very familiar with the customer being right, maybe not on the millionaire yacht scale but the next few minutes of the film were a cathartic experience based on that one comment made by that old rich.
Poseidon decided to absolutely take centre stage, rocking the boat back and forth while the dishes of tiny bits of seafood come out and are presented beautifully on each plate, for each guest. The tension of stomach gurgles and far off stares of people trying to act normal build up to an explosive vomit scene that really really goes on. The guests leave with ginger sweets by the handful to help with the seasickness. The pandemonium doth not end though, the ship continues to rock back and forth, and with it, the captain and shit russian, get more and more drunk as they read quotes by questionable figures. The pair go back to the captains cabin, and not to sex, but the announce. They slur a speech about the ship going down and communism until the power lights go off and the guests are all seasick, in life jackets, sprinkled around the hallways of the ship. The guest services manager Paula attempts to stop the announcements and start the power again, both fail as the captain and craptain read a poem about classism to a group of millionaires in distress because of some waves. Again, I think there’s some sarcasm here.
Cut to morning, the waves seem to have settled, but like a tide wave before a tsunami, the story waves are only beginning. The old Great British couple, who are revealed as arms dealers, catch a rogue grenade which is thrown by a group of pirates looking to score some rich people things. They succeed as we see a wide view of the back of the ship explode and a cut to a shore, with guests looking shaken up where they seemingly swam together. We’re to assume that the rest died, as we’re left with Carl, Yaya, Paul, Abigail (toilet manager), Nelson (engineer, not pirate), Dimitri, Therese and Jorma (a rich rich who came to the boat alone).
We’re now in Part Three, the island. This part is a bit long, so I’m going to shorten it to the length I feel like it should have been. Abigail, who is the toilet manager, catches fish, makes a fire and stores pretzels becomes the captain of the group. The rich people are useless at surviving, so they look to her to do it all and follow her lead. She convinces Carl to come into the lifeboat, which washed up with her in it. Carl sleeps in there with her for several nights and we don’t know whats going on in there. The rest of the group assume it’s sex and joke and laugh at the fact she calls him to bed with a whistle, which is helpfully equipt on each life jacket. It’s revealed that they are sexing and Yaya is upset by this. She goes on a hike with Abigail who is out of breath for most of it. This long time on the deserted island is interrupted by a knock off salesman, who walks up to Therese as she is sitting in the liferaft by herself and can’t communicate that they need help. He gets frustrated and leaves. We then know they are not deserted and in fact, on a resort island. This is then cemented when they actually find the resort, Yaya and Abigail. Yaya is overjoyed that they’re going to be okay. Abigail comes to a realisation that the roles are going to go back to how they were as the guests will have their money and status back and Abigail will go back to a toilet manager. She stops Yaya, to sit for a minute and just be in the moment. This was such a good moment in the movie, the relief that we usually feel in these kinds of movies is stopped by the empathy we feel for Abigail, knowing that these people will drop their respect for her as soon as they can pay their way back home. Yaya wants to help Abigail, she wants her to be her assistant. Abigail is sneaking up on Yaya with a rock she is seemingly going to smash it into her head, Jorma, donkey style so she can go back to the group and continue with the power she has. The ending is interrupted by Carl running towards Abigail and Yaya as he is worried what they may say to each other.
I liked the ending of this one, open enough for things to happen but not so open that I don’t have options in my head. It could be Yaya death, Abigail stops and they go into the resort, Carl finds them with Yaya dead, or finds them with Yaya and Abigail going into the resort.
Here we go, overall. Really beautiful movie that used long shots particularly well. It had horribly awkward situations, whether in conversations or in physical distractions like the lift, a fly, a donkey or a window being wiped of vomit. A movie that went on a bit long but kept me entertained while it dragged a bit. If anything, I am delighted it did not bring me a triangle of sadness but a silly movie with some dramatic flickers.
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